I am a little depressed right now.
The temperature outside feels WONDERFULLY COOL and I love it!!! So... why would I be depressed??, you ask.
Well.... I only have 3 pairs of pants that fit and are suitable for work!!! -- It's depressing.
I totally feel like I am going backwards!! I am supposed to be LOSING weight, NOT GAINING!!!
No. I am not eating as healthy as I could or should be. This... I know... is part of my problem. But, I DO TRY to eat healthy. I am just terrible at writing down my food choices and keeping track of what I eat.
David surprised me the other day and bought me a new Georgia Bulldog shirt to wear. I tried it on this morning and it is TOO SMALL!!! It is a size "medium", but it is tight!!! UGH!!!!!! How am I going to tell him???? He does not like that I usually wear a size "large". (There for a while, I was wearing a size medium!) I can wear the shirt, but it is quite obvious that it is too small for me. I am not sure what I am going to do. Tomorrow is "game day"!
I could take it back today, after work and swap it for a large... but, he has the reciept!!
I really do need prayers and help with losing weight and more importantly... INCHES!!
I have tears in my eyes as I write this, and a lump in my throat.
David does not have weight issues and has a STRONG predjutice against people that are "heavy". We have had marital problems in our past over this very thing! Right now, things are good. But, if I don't get a handle on my weight, then... I know that we will be right back to that "ugly" part of our marriage that I don't like.
I wish like crazy that I could afford the $40 an hour that it costs for a personal trainer!!! Then, I would get the exercise AND the nutrition help that I need! But.... that is not possible. I also know that I can NOT do this by myself. It is too easy for me to fail.
I want to talk to David about this, but I am afraid to. His judgement of me is too hurtful.
I gotta go so that I can get to work.
Today is our luncheon at school!!!! UGH!!! I will need to be strong and not INDULGE in all of the "Italian" dishes! I am bringing an Italian Pasta Salad. At least it is fairly healthy.
I am so sorry you are having such a hard time right now, wish I could wave my magic wand and fix it for you.
ReplyDeleteCan you swap the shirt w/out the receipt? some places will let you do an even exchange? I know that doesn't solve everything, but it would be one less thing to worry about.
Maybe now that the weather is cooler you take a bike ride or walk in the afternoons or early evening.
Don't have any ideas about getting a trainer though. Would it help if you found the info online or could find someone that has used one and ask them what they were told to do?
I will continue to pray for you to find the time and will power to do what you need to do, and to pray for David to have compassion and understanding.